Writing again. Re-creating. Re-discovering.

Hello blog world! I haven’t seen you lately, because, frankly, I haven’t been posting. I’ve been frustrated and disappointed with successes I have not yet achieved. To get my mind off of this devastating thought, I have been creating self to-do lists, encapsulated by time, in order that I can do something to check it off the list. Then I can feel important and useful.

When I put it that way, it seems like quite a stupid plan and a waste of breath, but nonetheless, I’ve been productive in menial things.

Now, glad that I have those temporal, menial things out of the way, I can start to process and create and re-create again. I am starting to write. I forgot about the power and energy that giving, creating, and writing produces in the depth of my being. Creating, for me, is often a re-creation of something that has probably already been thought, written, or delivered; but it’s new to my soul. Therefore, creating, and often times for me, through the process of writing, is not just a joy; it also is a process and a success. It is something that gives me satisfaction.

A beautiful soul reminded me recently that I haven’t posted in a while. Shout out to Mama GG!! Much love to you! 🙂 Because of that, I have re-discovered some of my old writings. This one dates all the way back to March of 2012. It’s about something I have thought through and struggled with time and time again. It’s the giving up of my own expectations to let God be my Judge instead of letting myself be my own worst critic when I don’t meet my own expectations.

You Justify Me

I love your heart

I want your heart to be in me

Until death I will give

Myself to You to relieve the pressure

Of living up to my own expectations

I will live for the glory of One

I will gain justification from none

Other than my Justifier, my Righteous Judge

The One who is, will be forever, and who was

I am not finished

This is not my end

I surrender myself

So You can begin again

Begin again, begin again

This good work You have started in me

Reveal again, Your beauty

Begin again, begin again

This good work You have started in me

You made me

You said it was good. You say I am good. I am good.

I’m learning my standards are ridiculous and exhausting. I don’t understand this with my mind, but in comparing my standards to the Lord’s, His are better.

Now, I know what you may be thinking, “Of course the Lord’s standards are better.. HE’S GOD!”
To which, I elegantly and thoughtfully reply, “Well, duh!”

Here’s the thing, though.
My standards are to be great and to reach my own expectations in order that I can feel successful, productive, and effective.
The Lord’s standards are holiness and righteousness and perfection.

Looking at the comparison, my standards look easier and more attainable. Hence why I say I don’t understand this with my mind. I have to gain understanding with my Spirit. Holy Spirit, help us understand Your expectations and standards with our Spirit, and then help us to know that it’s attainable – and how we match up to it.

The song, “Nothing But the Blood of Jesus” comes to mind. It’s one of my favorite songs in the whole world. Here’s why…

“This is all my hope and peace
Nothing but the blood of Jesus
This is all my righteousness
Nothing but the blood of Jesus”

The song states the good things I receive AND it states the standards by which I get it. I get righteousness. How? The blood of Jesus. I get Hope. How? The blood of Jesus. I get peace. How? The blood of Jesus. I meet the standard of God’s righteousness. How? The blood of Jesus.

This Gospel never gets old. This Gospel never stops demons from fleeing. This Gospel is strong and powerful. This Gospel of Jesus Christ is my saving grace. The Truth will remain the Truth forevermore, and the Truth will continue to set you and I free.

Therefore, I’ll keep meditating on this Gospel until I’m completely free. Or dead (which really means I’m fully alive). Whichever one comes first is the one I’ll fully embrace.

The point? The blood of Jesus is the righteous blood that I couldn’t offer to pay my debt. Now I don’t have to die. The blood of Jesus is the Father’s standard for my righteousness. The blood of Jesus is the Father’s standard for my acceptance. The blood of Jesus is the Father’s standard for my success. The blood of Jesus is the Father’s standard for me to be considered good.

I think I’m getting a revelation of the Gospel all over again as I write this. See what I mean? Writing is a process… a journey… one of success and productivity. I’m discovering what has been already stated and created and done in the world, and it’s a process of new understanding for my soul and spirit. The Gospel of Jesus is PROFOUND!

Thanks, Holy Spirit. 🙂

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About morgangascho

I grew up in Iowa, USA (famous for growing corn). I'm contemplative, I love writing, and blogging has become a hobby. Writing worship music is a way to engage in sweet conversation with the Divine Creator of the Universe, Jesus. He is my life. I am hidden in Him and I pray that someday I will know what that means. Until then, I'm seeking His glory, waiting for the day when it will all be revealed to me.
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2 Responses to Writing again. Re-creating. Re-discovering.

  1. Jill Hanus says:

    Hi Morgan – By the time I was your age I had a masters degree in engineering and was well on my way toward a very good career at Deere. I’m not sure how old you are, but I suspect I also had a husband and a kid or three by your age. I suspect many people would have called that successful. But this is so far from success. True success comes not from things of this world, but in how well we reflect the glory of God. As I look at you, you are one of the most successful people I know! You love Jesus and every time I talk to you, I see Jesus in you. I am forty years your senior, but I feel I have seen far less “success” than I have seen in you. I praise God for you and for the example you set for rest of us. Continue in your pursuit of the important!!

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